My reasons are somewhat similar, but different than those in this clip.
1. I am afraid I'll come off as too pushy and end up pushing people away from the gospel.
2. I am afraid people will be insulted.
3. Some people who don't have a personal relationship with Christ are so cheerful. I'm somewhat gloomy and deep in thought most of the time. If people see Christianity as what I display, I don't think they would want it.
4. I don't want to make a false convert by not presenting the whole gospel or lead people into believing that the Christian life is all sunshine, rainbows, and daisies.
5. I don't know how to respond when people say that they don't have time to pray or read the Bible. My cousin told me that he believes in Jesus, but he just doesn't follow Jesus. I think that's the case with most people I know.
6. I don't want to come off as though a relationship with Christ is about following a bunch of rules, but I don't want to leave out that if a person is truly redeemed they cannot live unchanged.
7. Certain people who I've tried to share the gospel with have been ignoring me.

What do you think?


At this moment, I am listening to "The Brightest of the Head" by Starflyer 59 **highly recommended!

Now, I'm going to turn it off and give you my full attention, because you deserve at least that much.


Sometimes when I have a breakthrough, I write it down and somehow think it will change my life. I look back on those breakthroughs and NOTHING really happened.

For example:

1. False breakthrough -I thought I would forsake my lazy habits and be productive if I just stated a goal in my mind and determined to complete the task at hand.

    It didn't last.

2. another false breakthrough - I learned that who I was at home would shape who I became to the rest of the world around me. So I decided I would be a completely polite and generous big sister.

    Ah... I'm still working on that. As of today, the best I've done is realize where I mess up and then apologize. In the words of my little brother, "You say sorry a lot."


and let's hope this one is a winner. I think it is.

True? breakthrough - The Lord led me to and on a blog titled "Lukewarm Complacency," I was challenged to answer the question, "What symptoms of complacency do you see in your life?" One person had described complacency as settling for "good enough." Well, good enough has never been good enough for me. But, I look back on what I could've done better and I beat myself up for it. This gets me depressed and in a habit of self-condemnation which provides no motivation for improvement. I was tempted to leave it at that; to leave it at my weakness, but the Spirit pressed me to ask why. Why do I condemn myself consistently for things I could've done better? How can I seek to do better without feeling despicable if I don't? BREAKTHROUGH - For those of us who are in Christ Jesus, our value is not in what we do, but in what He did on the cross. I've been judging my worth by the things I do, instead of seeing myself through the eyes of God.

Romans 8:1 There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

The point, as I see it, is not to judge our value (for that is secure in Christ and cannot be changed by our action or lack of). We need not worry about that. Instead, we should judge our actions apart from our worth.

OUR WORTH IS SECURE IN CHRIST! *Let us not judge our value by what we do! Our identity is tightly bound in the blood-stained wood of the cross and the brutally torn flesh of our Savior.  There is nothing we can do to earn the sacrifice He paid and there is nothing we can do to be out of God's reach.




I needed to write this blog.

"Big ideas are weak ideas if we're not willing to let them shape how we think and live" ~ Alex and Brett Harris

Dare 2 Share

I've been blown away by God's calling to boldly proclaim His faithfulness to the nations...and the nation starts with this nation, with this state, with this town, with this group of friends and this sphere of influence.

But what am I going to do about it?

 - In the next 24 hours, share the love of Jesus Christ intentionally.

 - To the point it that it becomes habit, pray for and with friends; call them and remind them of God's goodness; be a loving witness.

 -  Honor my parents.

 - Be committed to honesty in all things.

 - Study God's word relentlessly. Memorize scripture. Wake up every morning at 6:00 - pray, Praise God, and read the Bible; seek God's will and direction; wear myself out in prayer for the souls in captivity.

 - Do not lose heart. Do not give up. Reread this entry to remind myself of my committment and put it into action.



John 4:23
Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks.

"True worship is in spirit and in truth"

Tell you the truth, my spirit's not in it

I hate that I feel far from You today

Everything just isn't going my way

And I'm waiting to hear You say,

"It's done. I'm here. Don't fear.

All your troubles, my dear,

they won't disappear,

but I'm still here.

Don't fear.

I love you.

I'll forever hold you.

Even if you can't feel my touch.

I haven't left and I'd never do such

I know your heart and what you're going through.

You feel far apart and you don't know what to do.

I'm still here. Don't fear. All your troubles, my dear,

they will not disappear, but I am still here.



A couple nights ago I had one of the strangest dreams in my life, and that is saying something because I have a history of just crazy scary dreams.

Here it goes:

(I'm skipping the first part where I dreamed that I went to the worries, I didn't have an accident...)

After going to the bathroom, I head upstairs in this huge building where a whole bunch of people are sleeping. I go to sleep. In the night, I am awoken by a scream and a thud. I sit straight up in my bed and thought, "That can't be good. I better check it out."  Everyone who was sleeping in that giant room went downstairs and outside to see what had happened. There laying on the parking lot pavement was a teenage girl. She had jumped out of a window on the top floor. What really hurts the most is how we soon forgot her laying there lifeless. We stayed outside and were goofing off like all was fine. We even formed a circle and did the cancan, and out of the corner of my eye I saw her. I thought, "This isn't right! We should be mourning!"

( I think this was a flashback and maybe explained why she jumped out of the window.) My dream jumps to a seen where (might possibly be the same girl) this teenage girl is consulting a spiritist or psychic. Three friends of mine along with me tell this girl why she shouldn't be doing this. There are these stone figures that look a lot like Aztec or Mayan sculptures in the room. I don't know what exactly is going on, but I know enough to be aware of the demonic pressence. We try earnestly to stop her from going through with her "deal with the devil."

It's really creepy. I know. But I can't be afraid or shy away from a dream so thick with meaning; with so much beyond the surface.
The death of the girl, and our refusal to mourn: I'd say this parallels the attitude of many today. We just want to have fun. Don't bother us with sorrow. We ignore the atrocities around us for the sake of preserving our own happiness.

Matthew 5:4
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."

1 Corinthians 12:26
If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

I think there's more to this than I'm getting at but I'm just not sure about it all.



I am nothing
And I will be
in service to You
In everything

I give up myself
my rights
my hopes
this unworthy soul

To forever
in service to
the Only One
who can take me

Take me
and make me
Make my feeble efforts
Worthy of the King

I deserve nothing
From Your hand
And I give You
Everything I am

And everything I'm not

I cannot overlook my faults
I do not yet know how
to see myself as washed
in the blood of the Lamb of God

Psalm 139
 23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
       test me and know my anxious thoughts.

 24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
       and lead me in the way everlasting.


___Hold up my hands___Exodus 17

I let go of my inadequacy
And shut my ears
when I hear
in my head voices telling me,
"I'm not good enough.
What's wrong with me?"
I can't earn Your love
And trying is killing me.

What do I do instead of try?
I've held onto this lie,
this dead bug on my windsheild
blocking my view of hope.

Fill these empty hands with Your purpose Lord.
These fists were clenched, knuckles white.
Lift them high so I won't lose this fight.
Because you're on my side.
You're here fighting for me even yet.
Holding my hands up and steady 'til sunset.