Angry at the sun for shining,
when you cry,
the whole sky should be pouring.


Jesus loves me.

Jesus loves you.


Think about that for a moment. It's not just some cliche people use to make themselves feel better. It's the mind boggling love of an awesome God. He wants to take you as you are and love you. His love will make all the difference. It's the kind of love that enables, inspires, and humbles. We don't deserve it and we couldn't possibly try to come close to deserving it. We were broken from the start. From the word, "Go," we stumbled; we lost our right standing with the Father. We couldn't get to Him, so He came to us.


My reasons are somewhat similar, but different than those in this clip.
1. I am afraid I'll come off as too pushy and end up pushing people away from the gospel.
2. I am afraid people will be insulted.
3. Some people who don't have a personal relationship with Christ are so cheerful. I'm somewhat gloomy and deep in thought most of the time. If people see Christianity as what I display, I don't think they would want it.
4. I don't want to make a false convert by not presenting the whole gospel or lead people into believing that the Christian life is all sunshine, rainbows, and daisies.
5. I don't know how to respond when people say that they don't have time to pray or read the Bible. My cousin told me that he believes in Jesus, but he just doesn't follow Jesus. I think that's the case with most people I know.
6. I don't want to come off as though a relationship with Christ is about following a bunch of rules, but I don't want to leave out that if a person is truly redeemed they cannot live unchanged.
7. Certain people who I've tried to share the gospel with have been ignoring me.

What do you think?


All I could think about was my discomfort. The cold air rushed passed my ears, which made them throb in pain. My lungs sympathized with my ears and felt pain as well.
All I could think about was the beauty of breathing. The cold air filled my lungs and I remembered I was alive.

Sometimes, comfort isn't what I need. Sometimes I need cold air.


Just in the past couple days, I've come across about three things I wanted to share here. 

Most recently, I read the blog of one of my favorite authors, Ted Dekker. I enjoyed this one and I'll be looking forward to reading another book of his (hopefully soon.)

He's uses his creative talent to portray evil as it really is, so that when light comes into the picture it is seen in all its glory and brilliance. I've learned so very much about faith, sacrifice, and love in Christ Jesus through the fiction novels of his that I have read.

To read about a novel of his that is coming out soon follow this link

More of my favorites from Ted Dekker include:

When Heaven Weeps

The Circle Trilogy: 1-Black

                           2- Red

                           3 - White

                          0 - Green (coming September 1, 2009)

Blessed Child (written with Bill Bright)

A Man Called Blessed (written with Bill Bright)

The Martyr's Song



This blog will be about the first two chapters of The Picture of Dorian Gray.

I can only stand to read it if I am free to express all that rises up within me against it. This will likely be the first of seven or eight blogs on the book.

First, the characters I have met so far: Lord Henry aka Harry, Basil Hallward, and Dorian Gray.

 Lord Henry aka Harry = the spawn of Satan. To begin with, I will list the lies he tells. After I have listed the lies I will refute them with truth. Then I will type up a short piece of what he says in the book and respond as if I were Dorian, listening to his deception. I will attempt to respond as Dorian should have. I might need more than one blog for this part alone.

LIES vs. Truth

1. ...actually this one came from Basil "The ugly and the stupid have the best of it in this world...They live as we all should live, undisturbed, indifferent, and without disquiet."
 - What a sad life is that?! "Undisturbed, indifferent, and without disquiet..." I cannot see in any way how that could benefit the human race in the long run. I myself have felt the weight of indifference and it is quite the opposite of a happy life. One of the greatest blessings I have experienced in friendship is caring deeply. I could say so much more.

2. now from here on it's Harry's words "The aim of life is self development. To realize one's nature perfectly - that is what each of us is here for....[People] have forgotten the highest of all duties, the duty that one owes to one's self. "
- Acts 20:24; Philippians 3:7; Philippians 3:8; Romans 2:10;
Phillipians 2:3 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.

3. "The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it."
- Matthew 26:41 "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing but the body is weak."

4. "Let nothing be lost upon you. Be always searching for new sensations...A new Hedonism - that is what our century wants."
 - Colossians 3:1-3 Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God.

5. "Youth! Youth! There is absolutely nothing in the world but youth!"
 - Isaiah 40:30-31
Even youths grow tired and weary,
       and young men stumble and fall; 
but those who hope in the LORD
       will renew their strength.
       They will soar on wings like eagles;
       they will run and not grow weary,
       they will walk and not be faint.

6. "Sin is the only real color element left in modern life."

 - Romans 8:13 For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live,
- Romans 6:16 Don't you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?
-Romans 7:5 For when we were controlled by the sinful nature,a]'>[a] the sinful passions aroused by the law were at work in our bodies, so that we bore fruit for death.


I'm without a track, I'm like a train

Direction I lack, a flightless plane

I want a chance to try

to try and to fail and to try again

I want a chance to fly

to fly and fall, but to fly again

I want to be your friend

to be your friend, and let you down

but to have another chance


At this moment, I am listening to "The Brightest of the Head" by Starflyer 59 **highly recommended!

Now, I'm going to turn it off and give you my full attention, because you deserve at least that much.


Sometimes when I have a breakthrough, I write it down and somehow think it will change my life. I look back on those breakthroughs and NOTHING really happened.

For example:

1. False breakthrough -I thought I would forsake my lazy habits and be productive if I just stated a goal in my mind and determined to complete the task at hand.

    It didn't last.

2. another false breakthrough - I learned that who I was at home would shape who I became to the rest of the world around me. So I decided I would be a completely polite and generous big sister.

    Ah... I'm still working on that. As of today, the best I've done is realize where I mess up and then apologize. In the words of my little brother, "You say sorry a lot."


and let's hope this one is a winner. I think it is.

True? breakthrough - The Lord led me to and on a blog titled "Lukewarm Complacency," I was challenged to answer the question, "What symptoms of complacency do you see in your life?" One person had described complacency as settling for "good enough." Well, good enough has never been good enough for me. But, I look back on what I could've done better and I beat myself up for it. This gets me depressed and in a habit of self-condemnation which provides no motivation for improvement. I was tempted to leave it at that; to leave it at my weakness, but the Spirit pressed me to ask why. Why do I condemn myself consistently for things I could've done better? How can I seek to do better without feeling despicable if I don't? BREAKTHROUGH - For those of us who are in Christ Jesus, our value is not in what we do, but in what He did on the cross. I've been judging my worth by the things I do, instead of seeing myself through the eyes of God.

Romans 8:1 There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

The point, as I see it, is not to judge our value (for that is secure in Christ and cannot be changed by our action or lack of). We need not worry about that. Instead, we should judge our actions apart from our worth.

OUR WORTH IS SECURE IN CHRIST! *Let us not judge our value by what we do! Our identity is tightly bound in the blood-stained wood of the cross and the brutally torn flesh of our Savior.  There is nothing we can do to earn the sacrifice He paid and there is nothing we can do to be out of God's reach.




I just listened to a podcast at

At the end of the podcast, the host encouraged listeners to take some time and quietly seek God. She said that many times "we try to crowd out the pain in our lives with noise." She posed the question, "What would it be like if we took just five minutes... and to sit quietly before the Lord and listen as well as confess and share with Him what this brings up in us?"


I needed to write this blog.

"Big ideas are weak ideas if we're not willing to let them shape how we think and live" ~ Alex and Brett Harris

Dare 2 Share

I've been blown away by God's calling to boldly proclaim His faithfulness to the nations...and the nation starts with this nation, with this state, with this town, with this group of friends and this sphere of influence.

But what am I going to do about it?

 - In the next 24 hours, share the love of Jesus Christ intentionally.

 - To the point it that it becomes habit, pray for and with friends; call them and remind them of God's goodness; be a loving witness.

 -  Honor my parents.

 - Be committed to honesty in all things.

 - Study God's word relentlessly. Memorize scripture. Wake up every morning at 6:00 - pray, Praise God, and read the Bible; seek God's will and direction; wear myself out in prayer for the souls in captivity.

 - Do not lose heart. Do not give up. Reread this entry to remind myself of my committment and put it into action.